понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

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Yes, call me a heartless bastard if you want. You should know that by now.

Mapos;kay, so Iapos;m minding my own business walking to class like I do every morning, when I see a bigass orange sign that says "Warning: Genocide photos ahead." So I"m thinking itapos;ll be some Holocaust stuff or something. Nope. Fucking pro-lifers with sweet little blown-up pictures of sweet little bloody dead fetuses with like holes in them and shit. Lovely thing to see in the morning.

So Iapos;m thinking "fucking pro-lifers" and just walk past with my head down, hoping theyapos;ll get the message, but noooo, some chick decides to give me a pamphlet.

"O HAYYY~ WOULD YOU LIKE SOME INFORMATION?"

"Well, ok-OH SWEET BABY JESUS"

Note that I didnapos;t actually say that, though I should have. Yup, dead baby pictures on the pamphlet too. Whatapos;s the fucking point of warning people if they were gonna show them anyway? Flawed. Fucking. Logic. I didnapos;t mind much, though calling abortion genocide kinda annoyed me. Do they even know what genocide IS? Last time I checked the fucking DICTIONARY, genocide was "the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group", not getting rid of something that shouldnapos;t even be there in the first place. Note that FUCKING FETUSES arenapos;t on the list. Oops, not genocide. Oh well. Itapos;s amazing what shit people will spew to make the unwashed masses believe them. Damn hippies...or Christians...unwanted fetus loving hippie Christians...yeah, that works.

Itapos;s times like these that I wish I was more vocal about my beliefs...but then again, me countering with a big "Dead Baby Jokes are Funny" sign would only get me peacefully jumped by the hippie Christians, and by peacefully, I mean violently, and by jumped, I mean raped. But they wouldnapos;t let me abort that spawn, would they? I think not.

Seriously, Iapos;m glad that some pro-choicers showed up to counter them. At least they have some common sense.

"OH BUT THE BABY MIGHT GROW UP TO CURE CANCER"

"So might the fucking HUNDRED OTHER EGG CELLS in the motherapos;s body, but since the mother was TOO FUCKING STUPID TO KNOW A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION WHEN SHE SAW IT, SHE AND THE BABY DIED AND NOW THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW"

I HATE it when people pull that card out. YOU JUST DONapos;T KNOW WHATapos;LL HAPPEN EITHER WAY. STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR WAY SOUND BETTER DAMMIT. Besides, how many of the pro-lifers would actually refuse an abortion if they knew they were going to die if they had the baby? Not many.

/ANGRY RANT
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воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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Weight 173 lbs. Body fat 18.5� Days until Philly Marathon = 34 - OMG



I'm struggling my way to the finish of my training.� The Philadelphia Marathon is only 34 days away.� My legs are still a bit tight, although I'm think I've finally kicked whatever "bug" I had.� Right now, my work is also very busy - I work in accounting for a bank in New York, and I'm probably going to be working late hours all this week and I may also have to work on the weekend.� My diet is okay, but still could be better.� Since I'm working so much, I'm planning on bringing more food into work, so hopefully, I'll be able to get under 170 lbs. Before the race.� I started running my weekend intervals on the track to give my legs a break and to get a better perspective on pacing.� On Saturday,� I ran 2x 3200 meters� with 1600M splits of 7:15 and 7:20, the second 3200M, 1600M splits of 7:27 and 7:20.� (It was supposed to be 3x3200M, but I asumed it was 2x15 minutes - I have to start reviewing my workouts before running them, rather than trying to remember them)



I'm somewhat conflicted, I want to run the race and get it over with, but I know that I'm not ready, and hopefully, the next few weeks of training and tapering will get me where I need to be.� Nine months of work and it all comes down to 34 days and counting.� I know that I have to run a perfect race to have a chance at sub 3:35 and I'm starting to feel the pressure of having to deliver the goods very soon.� I wish that my legs felt better, I wish that I felt stronger.� I was supposed to put in an easy 15 miler today, but I overslept and the rest of the day was too busy, so I'm getting up extra early tomorrow (3:30 a.m.) and I'll try to get it in before I go to work.� I'm scheduled for a 15 mile run at race pace (8:0 to 8:10 per mile) for this weekend.� I hope that I can run that pace all on my own, I usually try to schedule a race for my race pace or faster runs, it's easier for me to be pushed by other runners.� I hope that your training for your fall races is going even better than mine is.� You would think that I would be relieved that it's almost over and I can run the marathon and no matter what happens, go back to just being a father and husband, my 15 minutes of somewhat obscure noteriety will be over. (whew)� I enjoy having a trainer and a nutritionist, and I've learned a lot about running and training.� But, what I've enjoyed most is getting comments from runner's who I may have helped or inspired in my own fumbling way.� In a way, I'm experimenting on myself.� Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying to achieve the goal of going from an "average" runner, to being a "good" or"very good" runner.� My final exam is looming on the horizon, I hope I pass.� Gotta go, now and get some sleep.� I'll see you on the roads...

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That I am really freakinapos; tired of people being crappy to me when I think I go out of my way for them, half the time they even know it. So there

This is one of the main reasons I left the hotel, people being crappy to me for no reason or despite the fact that I am trying to help them, etc. I really just need to say, "What the fucking hell is wrong with you? Do you even realize that I do not have to do half the shit Iapos;m doing for you?" And whatapos;s more actually some of them do and still say fucked up shit to me, or act crappy, or whatever. Honestly, I do not know what is worse, people that treat total strangers like shit for no reason or people who decide they are going to be shitty regardless of the actual situation.

So the next time someone gets crappy with you for not doing something when they thought you should do it (like youapos;ve been standing around with your thumb up your butt for the last 3 hours) despite the fact that you try your best to watch their back and make sure they are taken care of tell the to, "GO SCREW," which is what I should have done. Also have no patience for anyone who tries to play the martyr

So the moral of the story is: Stop Being Crappy to People for No Fucking Reason Especially if They Have Your Best Interests in Mind Moire Often than Not (That is if you ever are.)

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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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I just discovered something messed up. I can spend all day trying to make my son laugh. Heapos;ll smile and grin maybe, but not laugh. I can tickle him. I can sing and make faces.

But the only thing that makes him laugh (and I mean laugh like an idiot), is a very loud impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling at him to stop pooping and get int the chopper.

He just laughs his ass off at this.

My son is a weirdo.

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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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I should consider myself lucky, having only two days that I need to be at the university this week. And those two days are today and tomorrow, so I had a pretty long weekend. However, while my toe feels better, my ankle is screaming atrophy.

So today, Iapos;ll probably be using my fatherapos;s cane to get around. He wonapos;t mind, itapos;s been a while since he last used it.

...All of this makes me feel a bit closer to Dr. House. For better or for worse. :p

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Irsquo;ve been working on a little writing project and the story is set in Cairns, Australia. I lived up there for many years when I was little and itrsquo;s probably the most beautiful place on earth (the region, not Cairns itself). I bird watched and went on long nature walks, if not every day, at least three times a week. I miss it a lot and Irsquo;ve been very happy writing about itmdash;exploring it again in my mind.

Today I went looking through my files for information about a cave system there we visited when I was younger. My strongest memory of the day was vomiting violently with heat stroke the whole way home. Which is also what my MC does in the story.

I asked my mother where everything was and she said she had lent our files to someone at work who was planning a trip up that way. She told them: ldquo;These are like our photosmdash;theyrsquo;re a record of all the things we did while we lived there and you have to be very careful with them.rdquo;

My mother has just told me he threw them out. Our whole file. Our photos, our memorabilia, all of it.

He was not apologetic. He didnrsquo;t think it was a big deal.

Irsquo;m completely crushed. I donrsquo;t even know if I can write any more of the story.

Just because something does not seem important to you, it could be someone elsersquo;s whole world. If someone says something is important to them, for GOD SAKE, pay some god damn attention.

Irsquo;ve lost all my research material and my precious memorabilia.

Someone PLEASE promise me karma will deal with this.



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среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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Below is my interview with Simon Pegg, which first appeared in the Reading Evening Post:

ldquo;ARGGHHHHHHrdquo;�Thatrsquo;s what it says on the front of Simon Peggrsquo;s T-shirt and it could describe any number of emotions he has felt since landing in Tinseltown.

In Hollywood, Brits can do no wrong.�At least where comedy is concerned anyway.�As America embraces the famous dry British wit, it has taken under its wing home-grown talents like Simon Pegg and Readingrsquo;s own Golden Globe/Emmy-winning Ricky Gervais, as well as names like Russell Brand, Sacha Baron Cohen and Steve Coogan.�The list keeps building.

And it seems that with typically British self-deprecation, the likes of Pegg and co canrsquo;t quite believe it.�

Simon Pegg admits he has to pinch himself all the time, so much so that he finds it impossible to list the numerous occasions when it happens.�We met last week at Londonrsquo;s Soho Hotel to talk about his latest movie How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, based on journalist Toby Youngrsquo;s best-selling memoirs and he told me: ldquo;That kind of thing happens all the time in LA because itrsquo;s the centre of the industry and everybodyrsquo;s there so you constantly find yourself in those kind of weird situations and it never not surprises me.rdquo;

Simon is, however, able to recount feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of working with childhood hero Jeff Bridges, who plays magazine boss Clayton Harding in the film.�ldquo;I remember going to see him in Tron when I was sevenrdquo; he says.�ldquo;To be there acting alongside him was amazing.rdquo;

Simonrsquo;s sense of wonderment at where he has ended up is palpable.�ldquo;To go from being born in rural Gloucestershire and then winding up doing those kinds of things is amazing,rdquo; he says.�ldquo;I hope it always is amazing. �I hope I donrsquo;t get tired of it or find it boring.rdquo;

Clearly in awe of where he his career has landed him, he readily admits he doesnrsquo;t have a game plan.�ldquo;Irsquo;m not trying to make it in America particularly.�Irsquo;m just trying to just work.�You just want to keep doing good stuff and working with good people and that [Hollywood] is an incredibly prolific centre of production over there.�Yoursquo;ve got an amazing film industry which is extremely busy and inevitably, as an actor or writer, yoursquo;re going to gravitate towards that part of town,rdquo; he says before adding wryly: ldquo;When I say town I mean the world.rdquo;

Not having a game plan doesnrsquo;t seem to be holding Simon back.�Hersquo;s scored hits on both sides of the Atlantic with self-penned funny fare like Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and Run Fatboy Run and you get the impression that hersquo;s content to continue playing at being funny and making movies with the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store for as long as theyrsquo;ll have him along for the ride.

ldquo;The most important thing for me is that I enjoy my job and I enjoy going to work in the morning and making the film,rdquo; he says.�ldquo;For me thatrsquo;s what itrsquo;s all about.�You know, the daily process of making a film is so much fun.�Everything else that follows is just, you know, itrsquo;s a necessary evil.rdquo;�He laughs nervously as he realises that what he has just said encompasses the spiral of interviews that accompanies the release of a film, including the one hersquo;s giving right now.�He continues: ldquo;I just want to do stuff that I enjoy and work with people that I enjoy working with and get some satisfaction in my work.�Irsquo;m not sort of planning it all out thinking: lsquo;Right, now Irsquo;ve got to play a villain or a serial killer because Irsquo;ve played two nice guys in a rowrsquo; or whatever.�I donrsquo;t knowhellip;rdquo;�He laughs again.

True to his word, a great time is exactly what he had on the set of How To Lose Friends.�Although that comes as no surprise when you learn that the director of the film is Robert B. Weide who works on the hilarious Larry David television comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm.

�Simon is also full of praise for his co-star Kirsten Dunst.�He says: ldquo;Myself and Kirsten had a really good time. �Shersquo;s enormous fun and we had a great laugh. �We spent a lot of our time making each other laugh and when she wasnrsquo;t on set, it was a completely different experience.rdquo;

He thinks about what hersquo;s just said before adding: ldquo;Having said that, working with Jeff was incredible.�The guy is a legend and for me to get to work with him was fantastic and similarly working with Megan (Fox) whorsquo;s just coming through and is now suddenly wowing the world.�I think when they first called cut on her first big scene everybody was surprised.�There was a palpable sense of lsquo;My God, she can act as wellrsquo;rdquo;.

Speaking to Simon, you get a sense of the geeky movie nut who got lucky.�Hersquo;s like your funny mate.�He certainly seems to find it slightly incredible that all this has happened to him.�But therersquo;s also a lot more to him; it most definitely isnrsquo;t all luck.�Hersquo;s intelligent, switched on, clued-up and really quite determined.�Take the fact that he managed to sell Shaun of the Dead, his first feature, to the American market.

ldquo;You realise that when you spend a lot of time over there [America], you are a foreigner,rdquo; he says.�ldquo;Itrsquo;s tempting to believe that we are just part of the same continent and because we speak the same language that we are country fellows and we are not particularly.�We are from a different country.�Particularly when yoursquo;re trying to sell a film like Shaun of the Dead over there; you are taking a foreign film to America.�And you have to do a lot of convincing.rdquo;�He adds, with a smirk:�ldquo;And also theyrsquo;re really loud and obnoxious people.rdquo;

In this way, Simon says, there are parallels between himself and the fictionalised character of Sidney Young (based on Toby Young) in the film, who finds himself very much the misunderstood Brit abroad.�As detestable as the real Toby Young appears to be, by all accounts, Simonrsquo;s innate likeability brought a sympathetic edge to the character in the film, something that producer Stephen Woolley and director Robert B. Weide deemed necessary for the film version.

Although Simon credits the screenwriter for turning an objectionable character into someone with humility, I suggest that it has much to do with Simonrsquo;s congeniality.�When asked what the worst thing hersquo;s ever read about himself is, he quotes a newspaper article.

ldquo;I think there was a profile once in the Independent on Sunday that had clearly just read my Wikipedia page, which was just full of apocryphal nonsense and said something about me having a black ponytail once,rdquo; he says.�ldquo;Never did.�But I can honestly say that, fortunately for me, thatrsquo;s the worst thing Irsquo;ve read.�Which is pretty bad.�Apologies to anyone with a black ponytail, by the way, thatrsquo;s male.rdquo;

Having appeared in Doctor Who and played a zombie in George A. Romerorsquo;s Land of The Dead, hersquo;s next set to play Scotty in the new Star Trek film and I wonder if there are any childhood dreams left to fulfil.�Whatever comes his way next, hersquo;ll no doubt embrace it fully.�Simon Pegg is a man who clearly finds enormous fun in making movies.�ldquo;If I could have it this way, I would make a film, then have it on a DVD, give it to my mum and then go and make the next one,rdquo; he says.�ldquo;That would be the perfect set up for me.rdquo;



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So i was just watching a prerecorded news program on fox 4. Shaun raab was interviewing some neeapos;rdowells (i have no idea how that is spelled but i do love the way it sounds) presumably in pleasant grove my favorite trailer park haven who have degrees in "street life" about whether or not they thought having male volunteers at their middle and high schools letting know there was more to their future than thugging might have made a difference in that future. They said yes and then went on mugging old ladies and harassing stray cats.

but it got me to thinking about my positive influences in high school and middle school. And i am long past the point of blaming others for my lack of motivation and my stagnancy. But it was around the time that my mother met jerry and floated away on a cloud of dependency that my academic career started to take a nosedive.

before the summer between eighth and ninth grade i was an all a student. Actually. I "earned" (though it was really lack of earning) my first failing grade in the last semester of eighth grade. Okay. But until that point i had a mother who looked at report cards and progress reports and still grounded me when i was not up to par midsemester. After that she signed report cards full of failing grades and sent them back to school with me and left me alone. Which is what i wanted her to do really but it taught me an important lesson in parenting.

am i to believe that it is a coincidence that i was one of only two people in my circle of friends that came from a "broken home?" among my closest friends in middle and midway through high school there is a geophysicist, a girl i was so mean to beapos;cos i was so jealous who earned her masterapos;s degree before most of the rest of these people finished their undergraduate programs and who now works in the media room of something something in washington d.c., a middle school drama teacher, a successful actress, a girl who in three years will be a dentist, a boy who has a premed degree ... I could go on beapos;cos i have a facebook account solely to make myself feel terrible about where i am in respect to them. All of these people came from families which at least to me seemed supportive and wonderful and whole. Iapos;m sure of course that they were not without hidden problems. But it is only the two of us who came from families of divorce who are seven years out of high school and lacking college degrees.

like i said iapos;m not trying to place blame just trying to figure myself out. And i have a lot of time on my hands lately. It isnapos;t jealousy anymore just sadness beapos;cos i know i could have done more. Really more than anything it will motivate me to keep my family intact in the future i guess. And maybe that was the lesson intended.
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Well, I have busy lately.

I got a job at the call center of quest diagnostics as a "Proxy Agent". I call shareholders and fill them in on issues that meetings are being held over and get their votes so their shares are represented at the meeting.

it

is

boring

But Iapos;m kinda digging it. Itapos;s caused me to have a pretty big lifestyle change and it feels for the better. I work Mondau - 8:45am to 4pm. It pays really well too. Itapos;s an interesting feeling actually having money in my pocket. The job is Business Casual dress code so i had to buy nice clothes. I enjoy dressing like a 23 year old.. I got badass loafers haha.
Iapos;m still getting used to waking up at 7:30am... Its just that moment when the alarm goes off and u have to get out of bed. Once im up, im up. ............. I didnt even know 7:30am existed 2 weeks ago haha.. Iapos;m not having as hard of a time waking up as I am falling asleep. For instance its 1am right now and im still up writing this. I am getting in bed after I post this though.. Im pretty tired.
If you dont know me... Getting in bed at 1am is really early. I usually cant fall asleep anytime before 3:30am.. Its still been that way even though ive been waking up early.

So we will see how this job goes, at least its money that I can start saving up to move out.

I filled out my application for Montclair State University today. Itapos;s going to feel so good to be done with bergen.

oh, hahaha, I started wearing one of those european man purses to. You can make fun of me if u like. I had all these papers i needed too bring into work and i was bringing them in my red backpack from highschool with grafitti on it. High school backpack doesnt go well with nice clothes, so I had to get a fag bag..

No offence, fags...
same goes to you, bags...
Til next entry...
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